Helping your teenagers with their emotions is essential, but some methods of doing this are more beneficial than others. You might discover that your high schooler is showing teen anger, surpassing the typical variety. If so, then you can address this issue before it morphs into an adverse emotional problem that leaves the two of you at loggerheads. Below are a few tips that you can be helpful with this issue:
Avoid Snapping At Your Child
You could feel the urge to flip out when your teen acts all crazy and yells at you. However, responding with the same spirit will not calm the situation. According to Dr. Bernard, shouting at each other escalates the boiling anger. Instead, lower your voice and speak to your child in a calming tone to know what’s the problem.
It is best to remember you are the adult in the situation and should walk away when things get heated. You can suggest continuing the discussion later when everyone has cooled down. Dr. Abblett recommends saying everyone needs a breather, and you should accept when your teen asks for this.
The demands of the house or the rest of the family can have you feeling stressed and on edge. It is a situation that can cause you not to have time to hear about your teen’s school drama. But avoid saying things like, “get over it, it’s not that serious,” or downplaying what your child is trying to express. It makes your teen feel unheard and disrespected. The best approach is to listen and validate your teenager’s feelings and show that you understand the issue matters to him. Nevertheless, let your teen know that listening does not mean you agree with what he says.
Model Healthy Emotions
Any outbursts or reactions driven by anger will override whatever you tell your child to do when expressing your concerns that they are misbehaving and should use a different and better way to address their problem. Dr. Bernard recommends learning how to tame your emotions and not allowing them to control you when having issues and letting your teen see you work through it because it can be an example he can follow. See more regarding dealing with a difficult teenager constructively.
Don’t Baby Your Teen
Opting to treat your teenager like a young adult instead of a child can help ease the tension. Therefore, it would be best not to come at him with an authoritative stance because you are the parent. Converse with your teen like you would another adult but without letting your child walk all over you. Dr. Abblett recommends setting limits using statements like, “I will talk to you like a person I believe is mature enough to exercise reasonable degree of judgement.”
Furthermore, let your child engage with age-appropriate things like making decisions regarding his school activities or meeting with friends at the park or movie theatre. It will help the teenager learn better decision-making and hone his problem-solving skills, essential in adulthood.
Set Anger Limits
Let your teenager understand that you do not condone him cursing, throwing things, or getting physical when angry about something. Dr. Abblett says that you should let him know that he will be held accountable for his actions, apologizing to those he offended or hurt and paying for damages he caused.
Offer Constructive Outlets
Your teenager might lash out because he does not know a better way or express his feelings. Hence, it is best to present him with suitable outlets for venting without throwing a fit and acting out with rage. Options like penning emotions in a journal, deep breathing, listening to soothing music, or physical activities like jogging, boxing, or dancing can help your child tame his anger and emotions.